LLS: telling you about a good friend

To my only One,

I thank God for this very special day. Today is Saturday, and the thanksgiving day of the little children. I am so glad to finally wear my uniform for the Thanksgiving. I hope you’d see me in that purely white uniform, reflecting on my purely good intentions at heart, to thank the Lord and to be of service for the loveable children.

I am also busy with my costume for the party my company had been organizing. That party causes me stress right now, but thanks to God because he let me know such good friends, in the person of the Kadiwa. As I prayed in the church, I thank God, first, of course because I am still alive and breathing and I still have the strength, praying, worshipping and praising His name. Second because I am very lucky to have my wonderful and very happy and loving family. Third because I am with the church and that I meet sincere friends, the Kadiwa. To me, they are like treasures and that I am very lucky to be here in the Manggahan locale. I always cherish the time I am with them and I hope to be very participative on the next years. I hope you’d also see and meet them. I am very sure you will like them all.

I have something to tell you and I am not sure if you’d want to know about it but I think you have to know. There is also a very good friend of mine. I really admire him. It is a mere admiration that I feel and I really think that if I just close my eyes and not see him physically, you are with me. You know how I miss you, but dear, you have both the same characteristics- funny, happy to be with, sensitive, caring, have a very good sense of humor, creative, artistic and most especially, I respect him. When he is around, it feels that you are also around and that subside the feeling of missing you. I wonder how do you do? Do you struggle too, like he do? I believe he also have the cleanest intentions as you do. And I want to keep that friendship we have. Someday you will meet him and I know you would be best buds, because you were so alike. One thing is for sure, though, you will always be the one for me and no one--even if he is like you-- would replace your place in my heart.

I just want you to know, my dear that I am on good hands and as you discover the best path towards getting here, there are good people with me that cheers me up and that take part and sacrifice something for me-- that left me with a feeling of being love and that subdue the feeling of not being with you.

I am really wishing every happy thing for you. I hope to hear you pray again and tonight as I close my eyes, your voice would be the resounding lullaby in my sleep. I love you.

My home's reminder

Truly, "home is where the heart is".

I love the smell of the smoke from the burning wood and dried leaves. it reminds me of the early days when mango trees are changing their mature leaves on one windy afternoon and we need to rake all the leaves for a better and cleaner surrounding. My father was at the roof sweeping the leaves down, while mama is patiently sweeping under the tree. i am busily ransacking the garden, making holes and planting vietnam rose/eight oclock rose on the plot.

I love to see green things. our house is colored green, and it refreshes my eyes everytime i set my eyes to it. but well, i also dreamed of making it larger, better, airier, and lovelier to live in, someday.

I love to see santan plants. it was planted infront our house that borders it from the road.

I love eating with bagoong (fish sauce). Most of our viand in our home are cooked with bagoong. also, green unripe mature carabao mangoes are dipped in bagoong and shared in the family.

I love eating ripe mangoes! yum! it is the favorite dessert in our home.

i love sleeping in a cool kawayan bed. it reminds me of the bright nights with moons shining above the sky, and my father and we, the children lay on the kawayan bed (papag) while papa was telling a funny boy that thinks the mudhole was a mound and that the mound was a mudhole.

I love the fresh air and the field. it reminds me of the lovely moments wherein our family pack up unto the field and ate together, sort of a picnic. i miss those times.

I love to see mango and guava trees. it reminds me of the climbing of these trees while reaching high for the prized fruit! i also remember the time when papa and mama will get some guava fruits infront our house, then put it in a plastic bag. i will bring it at school, and exchange it for a food, a paper, or anything that will help me survive school.

I love the buri hats. i experienced and learned lot of things through making, and selling buri hats.

I love Johnson's baby powder, safeguard white soap, hapee toothpaste, and champion detergent. i uses all those products until now, and it is a great reminder of home.

 There are many things that reminds me of home. These are just some and until now, I love everything that reminds me of my home.

LLS : telling you about my French likings

Hi, 

Are you writing on your journal right now? i've never took a long look at your journals cause you wanted them secret, unlike me, who oftenly write some love letters to you my dear. how are you? I wish to hear some new things about you? about me here?

"Je m'apelle Meryl"

"J'ai vingt ut un ans"

"Comment vas -tu"

Hahaha. i know i know i can sense you lifting your brows.

I really don't know when these fascination of French things come to me. i just found my self one day dreaming to study at Paris... well, do you remember during our one lazy afternoon dates when we just talk around the park and you ask me what do i visualized with myself ten years from now and i answered back, "I am at Paris that time, wearing a white body hugging white cotton knitted sweater, a lovely colorful tights under a sweet chocolate colored  skirt matching with white boots, with a happy smile and walking down the streets of Paris.." and you just laugh and teased me, i may be laughing crazily running around the streets of Paris.

Maybe, that was the start of this inspiration. Last month, i was looking for a good book at the Booksale, and reached this 75-peso worth sale book with a title "Almost French" by Sarah Turnbull. the book opened my eyes with so many things about France and Paris itself, my dream place... Well, i learned that if i want to be a part of that society, i should establish the very best of myself even here in my own country and that i should appear beautiful all the time. practice makes perfect, i guess i have more time to practice..^^ last week,  a French dictionary from the shelves of NBS was purchased by me and now, i am learning some new words though i never knew how to pronounce them properly. i guess you would help me at that part, being the most knowledgeable man i know**wink

anyways, right now i had just put down a thick book, the "Les Miserables", a book i had borrowed from my officemate. it is the story of an epic romance in France, a popular masterpiece written by Victor Hugo. Coincidence, i wondered why it had to be a french thing again.. and as of now, believe it or not, i was busily browsing a very popular site, the "My little Paris" an updated site of things that are going around Paris.. my love to the movie Ratatouille" which i had seen only maybe a few months ago^^ must be noted too.

so my life is somewhat full of French things right now. Hahaha.. maybe, this is just a little scape to my routinary Sunday that composes of the usual getting up as early as 6 in the morning, eating my breakfast (usually bread and milk in tetra pack), then getting prepared for the church. after going to church, i came at home at past 1 in the afternoon. today is so rainy. and that i got my nice black shoes really sadly soaked.

as i lay my back on the bed, i opened and started reading the book, "Les Miserables" which even at first really justifies its title,. as i read the first parts, almost all the events are miserable, but then every pages are very exciting that i cant help but to finish the first chapter, and i had almost forgot about my favorite radio segment every afternoon at 97.1 Brgy Love stories :)

I proceed to washing my clothes and i accidentally slipped in the floor causing  cut in my toe little finger., whew,, i wonder if the rusty door edge would cause some tetanus to me :(i will just ask mama if what are the symptoms of tetanus,first thing in the morning tomorrow.

After washing the clothes, i proceed reading the book. I cant put it down in the part that Fantine did everything for her child and that Jean Valjean took a look at her..

Then i went to church again to do some paper works.. It was all routinary right? but somewhat fulfilling to the soul.

And so my mind is troubled by a peculiar announcement today..i guess need not to trouble my mind right now.

But i need to consider the feeling of the person might be a kind deed. well, i guess everything had been set by God for you and me.

It is normal for me to be silent and flattered of course, when someone says he like you but then.,,given the fact that i live so alone and antisocial for more that so many years now..

As i said, i need no more troubles right now. i would be very happy troubling myself thinking of you. For now, i must say do not worry that much about me, as you create yourself, i am going to build my self too like a jigsaw puzzle, putting pieces that fit together to make a beautiful masterpiece before presenting myself to you. for now i would be very content reading / listening to some one's epic love story as i develop and improve myself...

so i say goodnight dear. all is well:)

LLS :dreaming of us together

Dear Love,

How are you? ive been  wishing all the time to be with you. that can be travelling with you, seeing beautiful things around, or even computing the bills with you, teasing you about reading for so long at night that the lights are switch on all the time and you answered if who among us take a bath sooo long  that keep the water bills high and i will then throw you some soft pillows and you will just laugh with my childishness. i wish you were there at my side everytime, as i feel empty and lonely right here. yesterday, i went out and see a movie by myself. see? i am not afraid not to be with you but then i thought that if you were with me, you'll joke all the way home because my eyes were really sore from crying in the movies and you will then advice me not to watch movies at home cause that way, i can just wet all the pillows we have by my tears. but then, i went inside the movies even without you. see, i am not scared now. i can go inside the movies by myself telling myself not to get used of having you around. well, i spend most of the day's hours in the bookstore too, and i just laugh at myself what if i was banned in the bookstores and movies? i am just thankful, i have all my time now to browse everything in the sale section, and i was just too shocked to see the 4 books i had reach from the shelves, and the cashier tells me the price, well, i just pay it anyway, but i know, if you were here, i'd be more wise on spending my money. you are so good at that things, analyzing... like greater value for money, cause you really know how much work it require to earn enough. Well, dear, i am hoping you wont frown upon seeing my books here. but i am so sure, on quiet times, when you came home, you will reach one of those while we read side by side quietly. i miss your silence, and the authority that silence brings. but then, i also miss your laughter, the frankness of your thoughts or the wildness in your eyes. Yesterday, was a fine day. maybe a perfect day for a date. i would be very busy chopping our favorite salad while your busy munchin on the carrots slices and i will ask you not to cause we will have nothing to eat when we get at the park. you will bring our favorite mat and ask why we didnt buy another one, when our mat is a little old. and ill look at you long enough and i know, you know the answer without even saying it. by then, the sun is enough to heat up the day and we can find a nice spot where  we can open and laid our mat, sit together, bringing out my favorite book and making your back to lean on. we can be so silent for hours, just leaning on each other, me, reading, you, watching the blue sky, the fluffy clouds. i always wonder how much love you have for the clouds, and you are too crazy about them, thinking i am too are crazy about them too, and sometimes, you'll just rest your head on my lap and begin to nap. i cant stop myself from looking at your lovely face, endlessly thanking God, you came to my  life. our world are full of silence but i am always grateful, we didnt have any mis understood moments, as if our hearts are talking and are comfortable with one another.... Sometimes though, there were times when you asked me the queries like, "do you think, Marcos is really dead?" and i would smile and say, "Ask her wife." I am really amazed by your political interests and craziness and i wont wonder one day if you'll run being the president of the Philippines, and you always answered back, "No. not really." sometimes, youll be scribbling on your sketchpad, sketching some funny political quips but you never send it to any publication. i guess, it was too political too. well, i had seen everything you draw from the smallest seedling to the tallest building, everything are alive, as i see them. but then, you say, you are just having fun with your drawings. well, that;s what you say but i guess, i can used them in making my own children's story book, and you say laughing, you will ask for a high price on every pig or chicken you draw. i ask you how much a rabbit cost and you say, thats for free, so i answered back, i think, ill gonna write about a king rabbit who marries a pauper lady rabbit and then give birth to many cute rabbits.. and you told me to go on writing.. as you always encourage me to write my novels, besides my cooking career, and you boosts my confidence in life and by that time, i will open some of our favorite snacks, lettuce to ceasar, cold from the coolman. and then, youd show how much you fancy carrots.. your my handsome rabbit, i guess. but that rabbit had been long gone.. i feel like alice in wonderland, lost, looking for you. how i wish, you'd find me here too, cause ive been waiting for you for so long. just remember that i so love you, and spending my seconds with you would not be very easy for both of us, still, we both know we can make it worthwhile. ,,